Anyway I've struggled with depression for about 3 years now and I completely realise I am not the only one which struggles with it as actually statistics show that most people actually have it and deal with it. I've never really been one to talk of it not with friends or even my boyfriend which I think he definitely struggles with because I've never felt the need to burden anyone with it because people have much worse life's than me so how dare I struggle with life when most people would be like well what have you got to be sad about? It makes me feel really selfish and like a bad person.
I ask myself a lot why me, it's the weirdest thing but something you literally cannot control and I fully hate it, and throughout the years I go up and down- happy, sad happy, happy, sad- it's gross honestly but something I have no control over and can never understand why I'm sad ever literally ever I couldn't tell you but the overwhelming fear of life and not wanting to get up in the morning basic things just petrify me. So I decided I've decided enough is enough, I don't wanna be on tablets for the rest of my life so I'm gonna try my best to do something about it, I'm actually very good at hiding it but the closest people to me def realise when it's a bad day but anyway my mum bought me this book.. Feel the fear, and do it anyway I admit I'm only on chapter 2 but it's literally helped so much already it makes you realise general things in life that you never notice.
There's this thing called the 'when/then game' that's what the lady calls it, so for example she says 'when I feel better about myself..then il do it' -story of my life, I literally live life like this il put anything off that scares me. This right now is quite terrifying as I don't know what sort of reaction il get but just wanted to put it out there so hopefully if anyone else goes through the same thing that I feel everyday. Do share it, honestly it helps and this book looks like it could be a god send for me- I've put off reading it for about 2 weeks now but nows the time to change. I don't wish to sound like a weirdo and i appreciate the length of this post but if i can help anyone to not feel how i have felt everyday for 3 years, that makes me one happy girl. It doesn't make you a bad person either people should remember that
Can't be afraid of life forever, right?
Have you ever felt this way or read this book?
Let me know I'd love to here from you :)
Lots of Love,