Thursday, 7 February 2013

Feel The Fear, and Do It Anyway


So maybe some would say this a bit more of an intense post as opposed to my usual ones but for the lovely bloggers that have followed me from the start and in fairness I have no clue who you guys are, what lives you lead or what everyday struggles you go through. However I love you all none the less as it makes me so happy to know that people care basically or are interested in what I'm talking about. I thought though I would do a slightly different post to usual as although I'm well away that people read what I write part of me likes to think no one reads it at all an actually this is just my own diary that no one really cares about!
Anyway I've struggled with depression for about 3 years now and I completely realise I am not the only one which struggles with it as actually statistics show that most people actually have it and deal with it. I've never really been one to talk of it not with friends or even my boyfriend which I think he definitely struggles with because I've never felt the need to burden anyone with it because people have much worse life's than me so how dare I struggle with life when most people would be like well what have you got to be sad about? It makes me feel really selfish and like a bad person.
I ask myself a lot why me, it's the weirdest thing but something you literally cannot control and I fully hate it, and throughout the years I go up and down- happy, sad happy, happy, sad- it's gross honestly but something I have no control over and can never understand why I'm sad ever literally ever I couldn't tell you but the overwhelming fear of life and not wanting to get up in the morning basic things just petrify me. So I decided I've decided enough is enough, I don't wanna be on tablets for the rest of my life so I'm gonna try my best to do something about it, I'm actually very good at hiding it but the closest people to me def realise when it's a bad day but anyway my mum bought me this book.. Feel the fear, and do it anyway I admit I'm only on chapter 2 but it's literally helped so much already it makes you realise general things in life that you never notice.
There's this thing called the 'when/then game' that's what the lady calls it, so for example she says 'when I feel better about myself..then il do it' -story of my life, I literally live life like this il put anything off that scares me. This right now is quite terrifying as I don't know what sort of reaction il get but just wanted to put it out there so hopefully if anyone else goes through the same thing that I feel everyday. Do share it, honestly it helps and this book looks like it could be a god send for me- I've put off reading it for about 2 weeks now but nows the time to change. I don't wish to sound like a weirdo and i appreciate the length of this post but if i can help anyone to not feel how i have felt everyday for 3 years, that makes me one happy girl. It doesn't make you a bad person either people should remember that

Can't be afraid of life forever, right?
Have you ever felt this way or read this book?
Let me know I'd love to here from you :)

Lots of Love,
Becky
xxxxx


10 comments:

Charlotte Thomas said...

I am definitely going to look into getting this book! Hope it treats you well sugar!

Love, Charlotte - Blotandreapply.blogspot.com x

Inês said...

Ohh lovely post, I must say. I'm glad you told us this, sometimes it's easier to talk about this stuff with people we don't really know. I can tell how awful feeling this way must be like, and I'm really happy that you found this book which is helping you out! We all definitely have our ups and downs in life, but we cannot forget about the wonderful things that this world has to offer us! We simply can't waste the opportunities this life gives us. We totally need to live life to the fullest <3

Inês xxx

Zoe said...

I suffer from depression too and I can totally relate with how you feel. You're very brave for writing a post and putting yourself 'out there'. I have this book and it was my bible when I started feeling anxious about life. If you ever want to chat anytime you're more than welcome to email or tweet me. xx

Filthy Paws & Silky Drawers said...

Lovely post, I've had a number of problem (which I won't go into) and used to be terrified to go near the whole self-help/self-improvement thing, but I bought a few last year and they have worked wonders. I think 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' is a great motto to have in life :)

http://filthypaws-and-silkydrawers.blogspot.co.uk/

xx

Emma Delfosse said...

A lovely post, I'll have to look into this post. I know where you've been, sweetie, I've been there for years. I'm always open to help too :)
canvas-of-a-face.blogspot.com

Rebecca said...

Thanks sweet :) definitely! Love to here how you get on xxxx

Rebecca said...

Definitely! Thank you so much for such a lovely comment it's so nice of you:) xxxx

Rebecca said...

It's so nice to know I'm not the only one, obviously I know I'm not but to know other people feeling the same! I will definitely get in contact Thankyou so much xxxx

Rebecca said...

Definitely! I'm so glad they have helped you to & are on the road to recovery as it were! Lots of love to you xxxx

Rebecca said...

Thanks Hun that's really good to know :) it's horrible isn't it :( hope your feeling a bit better, loads of love xxxx